Tuesday, May 02, 2006

My Adventure in the Movies

After living a movie-drenched existence for the last eight months, I decided it was time to take a look at the other side of things. I needed to move on from just watching movies. I needed to start making them.

Writing, however, seemed a little hard. Directing...moreso. As for all of the other stuff...well, I just don't have the necessary skills. Acting, however, seemed just about right.

And so yesterday I had my big acting debut. I went to the shoot location, where I met the beautiful American producer, who shortly thereafter burst into tears and mysteriously disappeared, but not before she brought me over to the beautiful Polish makeup girl, "to have my face done." After that, I moved to the marginally attractive, but quite stylishly dressed French hair guy, who filled my head with so much gel that my hair actually crackled as I absent-mindedly ran my fingers through it later in the day.

After this brisk morning jog through the cosmetic gauntlet, I was ready to step in front of the camera. Sadly, the camera wasn't ready to be in front of me. The Jordanian director was too busy coaching the Slovenian actress on how to smoke her cigarette to take note of the fact that the Mexican cinematographer, the Scandanavian AD, and the Israeli continuity girl all seemed to think that they were directing the film and were viciously scrapping it out amongst themselves in his absence. In the meantime, the French art director alternated between wandering around smoking cigarettes and wandering around poutily looking for her cigarettes. I, meanwhile, chatted with a beautiful Cameroonian model who complimented my French and told me I should consider a career in modeling. What a delightful woman.

After that, I danced with a dippy American redhead for a while and helped myself to a series of free drinks at the bar. There was also a deaf guy milling around. I'm not sure what he was doing there.

Somewhere during that time period (which accounts for about 5 hours of my day Monday) I was in front of the camera making cinematic history in a 10-minute student film. What I learned from the experience:

1) Making movies isn't quite as glamorous as even my fairly low expectations might have led me to believe.
2) I'm still fascinated, and not just because:
3) You get lots of free food and drinks
4) And meet beautiful Cameroonian models and dance with dippy American redheads.

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